AC Silliness
by Knowledge is a powerful tool
Summary: For some reason, there are two very strange men running around Rome. Or so Ezio thinks, anyway. La Volpe is amused, Claudia is poking fun at Ezio, and Machiavelli is complaining. Altaïr and Malik just finds the Italian assassins to be hilarious.


**I... have no idea.**

**(I do not own Assassin's Creed, which is rather obvious.)**

The first time Ezio sees the two strange assassins – because they _are _assassins, there's no doubting it – is when he's teaching some of the novices how to free run without falling to their death or end up with broken bones. Of course, the two strangers have the novices' attention far quicker than he can even say the word "listen".

He supposes he is impressed though, when he sees why the novices are so amazed that they won't even hear him. For the two men practically flying over the rooftops are as graceful and quick as La Volpe when the old fox really tries, and even more amazement is added when they see that the man wearing a blue robe over his white ones has only one arm.

Ezio cannot help but think that the man must have trained for years upon years. He has seen novices and assassins losing limbs, and not a single of them have managed to get back into their work, despite only having lost perhaps a hand.

The other man is just a bit quicker than the one-armed one, and he knows exactly where he's going. Then he turns his head for a moment, something only Ezio sees, and waves. The novices balk in surprise, then begin to chatter animatedly to each other as the two men disappear down from the roofs.

Ezio gives up teaching them anything this day.

-AC-

The second time Ezio sees the two, or rather one of them, he is walking through Rome with Claudia, on demand of his little sister. They talk about different things, mostly assassin issues, until she decides to poke him and informs him he is getting fat, something he vehemently opposes.

Claudia turns with a smile, which then brightens as she spots someone she apparently seems to know, dragging Ezio along with her. It does not take him long to recognize the man from the rooftops – the one with only one arm. He looks distinctly _not _Italian, with quite dark skin and black hair with a goatee.

Claudia greets him cheerfully, however, and Ezio witnesses a bored frown turn into a polite smile, accompanied by a glint of amusement and sarcasm in the man's eyes. Malik, his name is. The name just further strengthens the belief that the man is from out of Italy.

Ezio remains standing awkwardly, a bit peeved at both his sister and the strange man – and how do they even know each other? – until the man smirks at him, and tells him that with all his impatience, he must be the best assassin ever known.

The sarcasm is clear, and Ezio decides he doesn't really like Malik.

-AC-

Ezio meets the other man at La Volpe Addormentata. He is looking for La Volpe, and finds the quick-footed thief talking with the strange man. La Volpe looks very amused as he nods and then gestures with his hands, something the other man reacts to by snorting and shaking his head.

Knocking on the wall makes the two look at Ezio, and he gives them both a dry look. He is vaguely surprised to see a scar nearly identical to his own on the unknown man's lips, but then they quirk into a crooked smirk of amusement, and he's not sure he wants to know what the man is thinking.

La Volpe introduces the man as Altaïr, and Ezio has the feeling he's missing something. He also has the feeling that he's heard the name before, but he really can't seem to recall it. Altaïr nods in greeting, then turns to leave, waving goodbye with a hand curiously lacking a finger.

Ezio thinks that the two strange men are strange, and that he should perhaps be giving them a capital letter in the title.

La Volpe just laughs.

-AC-

Machiavelli has a tendency to complain about things, Ezio thinks, or rather knows. It _is _annoying, but he tries to ignore it, seeing as the Brotherhood sort of benefits from things Machiavelli can do. He doesn't really know what Machiavelli can do, other than paperwork, but then, paperwork is important enough.

And boring. Which is why Machiavelli can do it.

It is quite apparent, however, that some people do _not _tolerate Machiavelli's complaining. And with _some_, Ezio means the Strange Men. He decided indeed to put capitals in the title. But back to the Strange Men, Malik was berating Altaïr for being unecessary violent.

Then Machiavelli says something about leashes, despite already having what would surely be a big black bruise around his eye. This time, the one-armed man is the one who punches him, giving him a matching bruise on the other eye. Ezio decides to not say anything, and just walks back out the door he entered. It is about time Machiavelli learns not to complain so much anyway.

But still, Ezio wonders. Just who are Malik and Altaïr, and just how is it everyone but him seems to know them!?

-AC-

Altaïr thinks Claudia's brother is terribly amusing. The man is skilled, sure, but he also has nothing on him and Malik. Malik points out that a few hundred years of experience may be the cause of that, bursting the bubble of ego floating around his head.

Malik smirks, knowing exactly what he had done, and Altaïr just huffs at him. He isn't even annoyed, really. He figures that without Malik, he'd surely have gone mad long ago. Of course, the one-armed man is quite skilled in making him feel as if he has already gone mad either way.

La Volpe the master thief shares both their amusement, especially on the matter of Ezio. He has known the man long, he says, and he also must admit that while his courage, skills and goals are admirable, his mind is sort of one-tracked.

That would explain why he does not recognize Altaïr's name, even though the Syrian assassin is quite well known – something Malik gives several sarcastic wordings to. But neither of them mind, because really, it just makes everything even more amusing.

So, they'll stay in Italy for a while, to help the Roman assassins with the Templar threat. And to see the ridiculous sight of novices toppling over just at the sight of them.

It's really just hilarious.

-AC-

**Why are Altaïr and Malik in Italy a couple hundred years after their time? I assume Altaïr's been playing with the Apple. I truly have no idea where I pulled this from, but I have most likely read a few too many AC fanfics x3**

**Hope you enjoyed it, as strange as it was.**


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